One thing that used to bother me was the seeming lack of effort it took for me to completely remove someone from my life. I never did it to be mean, or without provocation, but I could still just totally write a person off without so much as a second thought. How can an otherwise normal, healthy, human-to-human relationship just be forgotten?
In thinking about that, I realized it had to have been my upbringing. No, my parents were perfectly normal. I grew up in a happy, normal family (they were divorced, but it was as normal as that could be). But I grew up as a military brat. I've never known what it's like to have a lifelong friendship. Every 5-6 years or so, boom, another school, another state, another social setting. And it always happened at big shifts. 1st grade, 7th grade (entering middle school), and finally, my junior year of high school. Do you know what it's like to spend the last two years of school at a completely new place, knowing that in two years you won't see any of these people again? When something like that happens, you just get used to not having people around anymore. To not seeing them, to not talking to them, to not wanting to spend time making friends because you are going to lose them anyway.
Basically, the point of this entry is to set the foundation for my future posts. I have always been this way. It wasn't some profound event that caused me to lose faith in friendships. I just never had any to start with.